Hey Phil,

sorry, i was tired yesterday and didn't have energy to write anything. I was on the break from producing last couple of years.

I've made the bone structure for the track a few weeks ago. Vocal was hitting me later one night before sleep, but my singing is not something great so I had to mask it a lot with vocoder. That sadly removed some nuances in "singing". I should give this to proper singer to work on it. Glad you like the hook.

I very much dig the Storyteller track, also your remix of 1000 nights sound very chill and groovy. Though I would get rid of that synth at the beginning, track start to sound much nicer and flow better at 0:53 when piano kicks in.

Cheers!

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4th Dimension Club on Soundcloud

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Originally posted by SystematicX1 So, this is a remix. Still trying to line up the Vox and damn that is hard. Never heard of this guy but he goes by the name AYOKAY and this is a track called 1000 Nights. note* Trying to challenge myself by not listening to the original,and still haven't so..I have no idea if I am totally destroying his cut or if it adds some character...love to hear your thoughts SystematicX1 · Ayokay - SystematicX1 with Forester 1000 Nights (Remix)

Considering you've probably had some time to work on it, some of this may not apply anymore...but, I'll just go off what's there now...

First...Makes sense why it'd be such a pain...125bpm original vs. ~173bpm. And yeah, I wouldn't listen to the original...I did, and I think it's a pretty bland pop-tune. Reminiscent of just about every click-bait youtube video out there.

Understand the WIP part for sure, so feedback will be in relation to that. Still though, there's some standout spots early on in what seems like more polished territory 00:52/00:53, (also 2:21/2:22) where the vocal slice is easily heard, even passively.

Intro vocals sound clean and on beat, but the vocal delays sound a little awkward / out of rhythm at the beginning. Delays might benefit from some cutoff/filter-work so it's not 100% dry echoes to provide more ambience...or at least be jivin' with the groove. (Little weird on headphones too)

The instrumental backing is nice, and I actually dig that first synth...Pretty interesting sound. Instrumentation seems to do a good job at supporting the vocals instead of overriding them. Also prefer the simpler beat that oldschool DnB had, especially when the beat isn't the focus.

Dunno if it was an EQ decision or not at 1:40, but the mid/low range on the lead vocal seems a little muddy/stuffy, and doesn't sound as clean as the intro sample. Maybe it's just my ears getting used to the new room setup, but the cans still somewhat agree...

Dryness/forwardness of the chorused vocals as well as what seems like dissimilar reverb also seems to draw attention away from the lead rather than support it imho...the chorused bits also seem to lean a little heavy on the right channel. (Not sure if intentional, but perceived as a little unbalanced in the 'ol cans...)

Think I understand what you're trying to do at 2:20 and beyond...sounds like an interesting idea with the chorused vocals...Hard to tell as it stands though...seems very much still "under construction", so it'd be unfair to comment beyond it I think.

As personal taste goes...Never really been a big fan of munchkin'd samples...but I think with the right touch, I'd 100% take this tune over the original. Original, while well produced, is just blegh.
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Also got a work in progress you could take a crack at if you'd like...Been awhile since I've subjected myself to criticism lol. :S

First time working with vocals seriously, and first test mix using an analyzed / corrected room. Super dated / cliche / cheesy mix though :P. I'm stuck forever in the year 2000.

Last edited by theterran on Nov-21-2023 at 05:40

quote:

Originally posted by theterran Considering you've probably had some time to work on it, some of this may not apply anymore...but, I'll just go off what's there now... First...Makes sense why it'd be such a pain...125bpm original vs. ~173bpm. And yeah, I wouldn't listen to the original...I did, and I think it's a pretty bland pop-tune. Reminiscent of just about every click-bait youtube video out there. Understand the WIP part for sure, so feedback will be in relation to that. Still though, there's some standout spots early on in what seems like more polished territory 00:52/00:53, (also 2:21/2:22) where the vocal slice is easily heard, even passively. Intro vocals sound clean and on beat, but the vocal delays sound a little awkward / out of rhythm at the beginning. Delays might benefit from some cutoff/filter-work so it's not 100% dry echoes to provide more ambience...or at least be jivin' with the groove. (Little weird on headphones too) The instrumental backing is nice, and I actually dig that first synth...Pretty interesting sound. Instrumentation seems to do a good job at supporting the vocals instead of overriding them. Also prefer the simpler beat that oldschool DnB had, especially when the beat isn't the focus. Dunno if it was an EQ decision or not at 1:40, but the mid/low range on the lead vocal seems a little muddy/stuffy, and doesn't sound as clean as the intro sample. Maybe it's just my ears getting used to the new room setup, but the cans still somewhat agree... Dryness/forwardness of the chorused vocals as well as what seems like dissimilar reverb also seems to draw attention away from the lead rather than support it imho...the chorused bits also seem to lean a little heavy on the right channel. (Not sure if intentional, but perceived as a little unbalanced in the 'ol cans...) Think I understand what you're trying to do at 2:20 and beyond...sounds like an interesting idea with the chorused vocals...Hard to tell as it stands though...seems very much still "under construction", so it'd be unfair to comment beyond it I think. As personal taste goes...Never really been a big fan of munchkin'd samples...but I think with the right touch, I'd 100% take this tune over the original. Original, while well produced, is just blegh. _____________________________________________________________ Also got a work in progress you could take a crack at if you'd like...Been awhile since I've subjected myself to criticism lol. :S First time working with vocals seriously, and first test mix using an analyzed / corrected room. Super dated / cliche / cheesy mix though :P. I'm stuck forever in the year 2000.

Thanks soo very much for the honest feedback! Fully taken and noted,
And Dood, you should totally post your stuff. It's quite nice seeing you guys get back in the groove and posting it, here. Motivates me thats for sure

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Phil

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quote:

Originally posted by gordan100 Hey Phil, sorry, i was tired yesterday and didn't have energy to write anything. I was on the break from producing last couple of years. I've made the bone structure for the track a few weeks ago. Vocal was hitting me later one night before sleep, but my singing is not something great so I had to mask it a lot with vocoder. That sadly removed some nuances in "singing". I should give this to proper singer to work on it. Glad you like the hook. I very much dig the Storyteller track, also your remix of 1000 nights sound very chill and groovy. Though I would get rid of that synth at the beginning, track start to sound much nicer and flow better at 0:53 when piano kicks in. Cheers!

No way,you gotta keep em and don't get me wrong. I actually DO like the vocals and they fit very nice in it. My suggestion was to limit that amount and spread it out a bit so you can hear the song as well as the vocals lol

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Phil

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Originally posted by SystematicX1 Thanks soo very much for the honest feedback! Fully taken and noted, And Dood, you should totally post your stuff. It's quite nice seeing you guys get back in the groove and posting it, here. Motivates me thats for sure

No problems! Hopefully not too critical...this place did kinda rub off on me a little bit when I first started xD. Also, every time I'd poke in, you'd have a track up...and it'd take awhile for a response. Thought I might fill in again, being an old lurker

Suppose I could...been awhile since having honest peer review. Liven the place up a little too. (Wouldn't expect any next greatest hits from me though haha)
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Welcome to have at 'er...Very first time using vocals.

Vocals are from the main FL21 demo project : I'm awake by bombs away ft. Karra. Only listened to the track maybe once? Hasn't been used as reference for mine...Also, no permission obtained as of yet...so it might just stay in the private collection.

And yep, it'll sound dated...like most of my stuff. Clean, dry, dark, D minor vocals? Brain goes : yup, time for some more 2000s era euphoric vocal trance! Great...thanks brain. haha. Managed to avoid C# though, did not go full cheese.

I'm really just hoping...that my low-end is finally clean [enough] off just the nearfields...If it's clean, I will be so happy. I hate having to drag my computer over to the reference sub in my theater room just to finalize the low-end with my butt, on the floor.

Oh and...also aware there might be some minor artifacts when the quick n' dirty vocal stereoization kicks on and off...It's the stereoizer, and I'm aware of it...Will probably split the audio into L/R and use manual panning to clean it up...or find a better plugin for the job.

Last edited by theterran on Nov-22-2023 at 10:15

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Originally posted by theterran No problems! Hopefully not too critical...this place did kinda rub off on me a little bit when I first started xD. Also, every time I'd poke in, you'd have a track up...and it'd take awhile for a response. Thought I might fill in again, being an old lurker Suppose I could...been awhile since having honest peer review. Liven the place up a little too. (Wouldn't expect any next greatest hits from me though haha) ___________________________________________________________ Welcome to have at 'er...Very first time using vocals. Vocals are from the main FL21 demo project : I'm awake by bombs away ft. Karra. Only listened to the track maybe once? Hasn't been used as reference for mine...Also, no permission obtained as of yet...so it might just stay in the private collection. And yep, it'll sound dated...like most of my stuff. Clean, dry, dark, D minor vocals? Brain goes : yup, time for some more 2000s era euphoric vocal trance! Great...thanks brain. haha. Managed to avoid C# though, did not go full cheese. I'm really just hoping...that my low-end is finally clean [enough] off just the nearfields...If it's clean, I will be so happy. I hate having to drag my computer over to the reference sub in my theater room just to finalize the low-end with my butt, on the floor. Oh and...also aware there might be some minor artifacts when the quick n' dirty vocal stereoization kicks on and off...It's the stereoizer, and I'm aware of it...Will probably split the audio into L/R and use manual panning to clean it up...or find a better plugin for the job.

Dood, on the road due to the holiday's and just put this on in the truck. I WILL be responding to this...just gotta get home! Dig this...more in awhile

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Phil

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Originally posted by theterran

Very first time using vocals - Serious? Nice work man...I mean, I guess the questions I would have for this area would be, did the vox samples come dry or wet or did you add any post effects

And yep, it'll sound dated...- Nothing wrong with that at all
did not go full cheese - nothing wrong with doing that at all either lol =OP

I'm really just hoping...that my low-end is finally clean [enough] off just the nearfields...If it's clean, I will be so happy - On my end it sounds very clean and have listened on two of my high end speaker sets

I hate having to drag my computer over to the reference sub in my theater room just to finalize the low-end with my butt, on the floor -
LOL LMAO

I love the atmospheric tonality you have created with piece at it flows. It takes you on that journey
The music is that old school style groove and dig how you transition to the chorus with that gated harp.
That Arp....TOTALLY old school arp slayer right there.
My only complaint, you cut it at the drop and left us hanging =O(
LOL
This is a good thing...loved the tension build, would like to hear the driving percussion after the drop. Good stuff man [/quote]

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Phil

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quote:

Originally posted by SystematicX1 Very first time using vocals - Serious? Nice work man...I mean, I guess the questions I would have for this area would be, did the vox samples come dry or wet or did you add any post effects And yep, it'll sound dated...- Nothing wrong with that at all did not go full cheese - nothing wrong with doing that at all either lol =OP I'm really just hoping...that my low-end is finally clean [enough] off just the nearfields...If it's clean, I will be so happy - On my end it sounds very clean and have listened on two of my high end speaker sets I hate having to drag my computer over to the reference sub in my theater room just to finalize the low-end with my butt, on the floor - LOL LMAO I love the atmospheric tonality you have created with piece at it flows. It takes you on that journey The music is that old school style groove and dig how you transition to the chorus with that gated harp. That Arp....TOTALLY old school arp slayer right there. My only complaint, you cut it at the drop and left us hanging =O( LOL This is a good thing...loved the tension build, would like to hear the driving percussion after the drop. Good stuff man

Thanks for the listen/feedback!

Vocals were dry as a bone. Spent about an hour and a half cleaning up artifacts using RX 10 advanced / spectral repair.

Chain is : Fabfilter Pro-Q2 (EQ) => TDR Nova (Sidechain EQ/Comp) => Tonmann DeEss => Supercharger GT (Mild saturation/warming) => Valhalla Vintageverb => Sidechain Compressor => Delay => Stereo enhancer.

Sorry about cutting it off...It's very not done. I'm torn between chord progressions, because I can do a major shift that sounds nice...And I'm still experimenting with different pads/additional instruments. Once I finish out the sequencing I don't mind posting again .

-Edit-Misread was tired...yeah, full percs after drop for sure.

Might as well throw one more up, not as many projects lined up as there used to be...

This one's been cooking in the sequencer for a long time, but I've finally got the chord progression and melodic content sorted out...This tune is definitely truest to my production nature.

Last edited by theterran on Nov-27-2023 at 08:34

quote:

Originally posted by SystematicX1 So, this is a remix. Still trying to line up the Vox and damn that is hard. Never heard of this guy but he goes by the name AYOKAY and this is a track called 1000 Nights. note* Trying to challenge myself by not listening to the original,and still haven't so..I have no idea if I am totally destroying his cut or if it adds some character...love to hear your thoughts SystematicX1 · Ayokay - SystematicX1 with Forester 1000 Nights (Remix)

Got little time in between work so apologies if blunt. I wanted to leave feedback on a bunch of posts.

* See if the kick could be less boomy.
* Sibbilance on lead vocal needs to be reduced. It is harsh at times.
* Maybe lead voc can be reduced in volume, probably 3dB or more, or if the whole mix is compressed harder it might fit in.


The intro isn't really my cup of tea. Matter of taste. From 56 sec I really like it, the mix opens up nicely. Nice bass, and piano, it all glues together well. The majority sounds great, it really does.

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Storyteller Website | Storyteller @ Facebook | Storyteller @ Beatport | Storyteller @ Soundcloud | Stephen J. Kroos - Europa (Storyteller Remix)
Anthony Mea - Get It On (Storyteller Remix)

quote:

If less is more think about how much more more would be. -Frasier

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Originally posted by gordan100 4th Dimension Club · Šutnja (Original vocal mix)

Oldschool sound you've got going on . Vocoder action (no idea what's being said), reese-ish bass. Some tension. Could be cool to try out portamento on the bass to make it slide.

Honestly I'd just revisit the drums to make them sound more recent but I figure that's not the sound you're going for.

What I think could greatly improve this is more active panning of sounds. To remove some from the center. Furthermore the use of effects and some catchy rythmic changes.

Thanks for the nice listen, was a good throwback to the oldschool progressive days around ~2000 or so.

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Storyteller Website | Storyteller @ Facebook | Storyteller @ Beatport | Storyteller @ Soundcloud | Stephen J. Kroos - Europa (Storyteller Remix)
Anthony Mea - Get It On (Storyteller Remix)

quote:

If less is more think about how much more more would be. -Frasier

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Originally posted by theterran

Nice oldschool sound here too. Would love to hear some freaky delays on that bass when the vocals aren't present (Ohmboyz used to be good at that back in the days).

Especially with that saw arp it's that trancy stuff that used to be on Tiësto's compilations. Magik 6 or something .

A few things for me personally:
- The hats seem a bit washed out
- missing a snareroll when the clip ends

Looking forward to see how you finish it.

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Storyteller Website | Storyteller @ Facebook | Storyteller @ Beatport | Storyteller @ Soundcloud | Stephen J. Kroos - Europa (Storyteller Remix)
Anthony Mea - Get It On (Storyteller Remix)

quote:

If less is more think about how much more more would be. -Frasier

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Originally posted by theterran

Nice arp to start with. I like how the whole thing slowly grows.

Everything feels so soft somehow. Particularly the clap could be a little louder for my taste.

In the break it could progress a little faster. I really like the strings you've got going there. With the filters opening of the arp I was hoping to be suprised by an additional melody line. Oh there it seems to be, bassline going down (the volume sfx is a bit much). I did not expect the lead, I would have been satisfied if the arp took the front with a full hookline and the strings. The lead is a tad loud.

Hope it helps.

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Storyteller Website | Storyteller @ Facebook | Storyteller @ Beatport | Storyteller @ Soundcloud | Stephen J. Kroos - Europa (Storyteller Remix)
Anthony Mea - Get It On (Storyteller Remix)

quote:

If less is more think about how much more more would be. -Frasier